Some background

Ever since my first COVID-related article and Weekend Poll, which I drafted in late February 2020 and published a couple of days later, assistants and association leaders have responded any time I’ve asked for insights on business continuity planning (BCP) practices, working remotely and in hybrid situations …  and how you’re managing, both professionally and personally. 

 Not that long ago, I published my most extensive poll yet on the pandemic. We covered so much ground in that poll that it made sense to break down the results in three separate articles. I began by publishing assistants’ responses to all matters ergonomics, compensation, remote working, job security, vaccinations, communications, resilience, influence, goal setting, performance feedback and more earlier this spring.

“I’ve become more grateful, even for the smallest things”

Not long ago, I shared your insights on career lessons gained through the course of the COVID-19 pandemic. Readers spoke to remote working, digital meetings, assistants’ impacts, productivity and expendability, and more. In that article, I shared readers’ insights on adaptability and openness to change, confidence, networking, communications and visibility. Readers also shared lessons in skills, professional development and career planning. Last yet certainly not least, you gained insights on resilience and wellbeing.

What life lessons are we gaining from all this?

Here, I’m sharing a look at life lessons readers have gained as a result of this pandemic. It’s unsurprising that a few people brought up change, as there’s been plenty of that forced upon us as a result of COVID-19. I believe we should anticipate the pace and frequency of change to continue to accelerate, even after we’ve pivoted (what would a COVID-related article be without this now overused word?) our respective ways into new or reconfigured norms.

“Change doesn’t need to be all bad. There can be positives, and you can make a difference.”

As another reader commented, “Change can happen at a moment’s notice.” People raised all manner of life lessons, from the value of a hug to the importance of financial planning, saving and being financially realistic. Readers highlighted flexibility, patience and tolerance and the need to take care of ourselves. Assistants discussed a range of topics, from the role gratitude can play in our lives to financial planning, and the importance of saving and being financially realistic.

“Enjoy the simple things in life that we often take for granted, yet mean so much: our health, family and friends, fresh air, nature and memories”

Thank you

I’m grateful to all who responded and, as you’ll see, readers opened up. One person said, “My social life was too manic. I’ve ‘welcomed’ the chance to slow down (although obviously not in these circumstances).” Another said, “I’m stronger and more resilient than I thought I was.”  Yet another echoed what many may feel, in writing, “I miss human contact with my family and friends. Zoom meetings are not the same connection as being in the same room.” One person acknowledged “feeling bone-achingly tired” around the same time another person wrote to say, “… taking a break to reset and refresh is 100% necessary and okay to do. The fact that one recognizes that they need that break should speak volumes to that individual’s self awareness.”

One person said, “I realised how little joy visits my life”, even as others acknowledged the importance of enjoying “today and now”, “the simple things”, “everything” and “today and now”. More than a couple of people highlighted simplifying life and, as just mentioned, enjoying the simple things in life.

I appreciate readers’ generosity in sharing personal insights, and am sending good wishes to all, whether you’re thriving, struggling, or somewhere in between. 

Awareness that others at the opposite end of a laptop screen, smartphone or even an actual table may be struggling is all the more reason to exercise patience, empathy and discretion, and some readers spoke to the significance of being supportive of others. One reader commented on proactively reaching out  “…  to family members and friends even if you don’t have a purpose, just to be social and to let them know that you care about them”.

“I’m also the mother to a premature baby, so I feel that I have the coping skills to make it through a premature baby, the NICU, 9/11 and COVID; well, I think I could handle anything at this point”

People are sometimes surprised to realise just how strong and resilient they are. Others learn how much they can cope with through experience, including crises such as 9/11, the loss of loved ones or the act of caring for others. 

You may find some comments particularly resonate with you. As the parent of two who went from toddlers to adults in what seems like the blink of an eye, I was happy for the reader who wrote, “Enjoy simple things – I’m grateful to have had more time with my kids, especially my son who turned 16 last December. At his age, I would not see much of him – just washing and making food – but we both enjoyed long talks, discussions, watching documentaries and studying together. My son also helped me with my work for ideas and keeping each other motivated.”

“I need to take better care of myself.”

In the words of one reader, “Community is everything!” Family and friends, self-care, gratitude, flexibility and resilience emerged as dominant themes. One assistant wrote, “Don’t miss the opportunity to go somewhere, hug someone, visit your loved ones (parents, children, grandchildren) and reach out when you need help.” Another suggested, “Keep positive and focused on what you can do, not what you can’t. Help others.”

Emotional intelligence

As I’ve been pulling together this article, it struck me that many responses reflected aspects of emotional intelligence. One reader wrote, “Self motivation is a must have skill. It helps me cope with these difficult times, and charges me with energy to support others.”

“I’m stronger and more resilient than I thought I was”

I speak about both emotional and cultural intelligence (EI/EQ and CQ) at conferences and in the webinar courses I deliver, as developing and honing such skills can benefit us both personally and in our careers. In some of my presentations, I remind people that, while we may be in similar waters, we’re navigating them from a variety of boats. One assistant voiced the same concept in saying, “We’re all in the same storm, but everyone’s boat is a little different.”

It was good to see readers reflect this awareness of self and others, and empathy for our fellow beings. Assistants also asserted the need to ” look after yourself and your wellbeing”.

Do others’ lessons hit home?

Have a look at comments, below, from your counterparts across sectors and borders. One reader reminded us that,” As the saying goes, ‘Your resume should not be your obituary’.” Which lessons are particularly meaningful to you?

How will we apply these lessons?

Even more importantly, how do we put these hard-earned lessons – or affirmations of things we already knew –  to good use? You’ll find readers’ responses below, grouped in themes. Going forward, how will you apply these lessons or affirmations? Feel free to post a comment or share this article with your plans as we work through the balance of this pandemic and make our way through our redefined futures.

• Look after number one. Your family matters far more than any job.
• To pay attention to subtle changes in my daughter’s or husband’s attitudes and check in with them about it
• Take each day as it comes, appreciate it and care for those around you.
• Value your family.
• Love your family and friends because you never know what life will bring.
• Enjoy simple things – I’m grateful to have had more time with my kids, especially my son who turned 16 last December. At his age, I would not see much of him – just washing and making food – but we both enjoyed long talks, discussions, watching documentaries and studying together. My son also helped me with my work for ideas and keeping each other motivated.
• Time with family is more important than anything else.
• To proactively reach out to family members and friends even if you don’t have a purpose, just to be social and to let them know that you care about them
• Family, health and freedom to travel are important.
• Time with the family has been priceless.
• Value the little things and your family.
• Don’t miss the opportunity to go somewhere, hug someone, visit your loved ones (parents, children, grandchildren) and reach out when you need help.
• How important my family truly is

• Be kind to yourself, let go of things you can’t control – and acknowledge when you need to take a step away from your every day life to reflect and recharge.
• Self care is important.
• It’s very important to have a firm schedule for your own wellbeing. Put your training, sleep, relaxation and work into a scheme (pattern).
• Look after yourself and your wellbeing.
• We’re all in different boats but all in the same storm.
• Confirmation of priorities such health, family and friends, appreciation of nature and being able to spend time in it
• Work:life balance, because life is too short and it’s precious
• Spend time looking after yourself.
• Slow down and breathe.
• To take care of my health
• Become your essential self; you will be happier and more successful.
• Health is not to be taken for granted.
• I need to take better care of myself. It is not feasible to imagine completely dropping the mental load I carry, but I can take steps to care for myself through it all. I believe that, if I do that, I will be better able to focus in all aspects of my life, which will help my productivity both professionally and personally, and in turn may help my outlook. At the moment, I am just feeling bone-achingly tired, but I’m not really sure exactly how to fix that. I just think that seeking out ways to better care for myself would be a good start.
• I’m lucky to be healthy.
• Cut out everything that is unnecessary and doesn’t serve your own intentions or life. I realised how little joy visits my life. To be honest, I am considering making this my final year as an EA. I don’t know that I like this job anymore. I want strong leadership and it is very much lacking in business and, it seems, in the running of countries.
• I need to look after my health, both physical and mental.
• I actually do better being around fewer people (I’m an adapted extrovert), yet I work better with people around me, and I work better not in my home.

• Empower peers and others.
• Help others.
• I miss people.
• Community is everything! Workplace, civic, religious, social … I hope when Aftertime arrives, I don’t take my various communities for granted. We need one another.
• It is important to remain connected and communicate.
• How important spending time with family and friends in person is
• I miss human contact with my family and friends. Zoom meetings are not the same connection as being in the same room.

• Gratitude
• I’ve become more grateful, even for the smallest things.
• (I’m) grateful to have a home, food, clean water and warmth.
• Don’t take anything for granted, and appreciate the little things.
• Not to give up; be grateful
• To value the little things and your family
• Enjoy today and now.
• Search for wellbeing and happiness.

• Do not give up.
• Self motivation is a must have skill. It helps me cope with these difficult times, and charges me with energy to support others.
• I’m stronger and more resilient than I thought I was.
• My social life was too manic. I’ve “welcomed” the chance to slow down (although obviously not in these circumstances). I also lost my mum and gran (not due to COVID) during the summer, and am supporting my sister who has strong mental health issues and I’ve discovered how resilient I am. I can cope with a lot and I’m proud of myself for that. I run a regional UK PA Network and I’m proud of how we’ve supported other PAs/EAs and temporarily changed our way of communicating with them.
• I’m resilient.
• Do not give up; be grateful.
• I should reach out to others when I need to. When having a bad day, it is my “go to” to want to distance myself. Now, my cats “text” my mum when they think I need a chat.
• Don’t miss the opportunity to go somewhere, hug someone, visit your loved ones (parents, children, grandchildren) and reach out when you need help.
• Change doesn’t need to be all bad. There can be positives, and you can make a difference. 
• I don’t have to do everything.
• Also, taking a break to reset and refresh is 100% necessary and okay to do. The fact that one recognizes that they need that break should speak volumes to that individual’s self awareness. Self care is absolutely critical during these troubling times. I was working in Business Resumption on September 11th for a major financial company, and life was (again) turned upside down when COVID hit. I’m also the mother to a premature baby, so I feel that I have the coping skills to make it through a premature baby, the NICU, 9/11 and COVID; well, I think I could handle anything at this point. Let me be clear, though; I’m not asking for any more crazy events to happen in my lifetime. I am more than ready for life to go back to pre-COVID ways.

• It’s the small things in life that matter;  enjoy everything.
• Concentrate on the positives (of which there are lots).
• Enjoy the simple things in life that we often take for granted, yet mean so much: our health, family and friends, fresh air, nature and memories.
• This reinforced that family and friends are what I value most. As the saying goes, “Your resume should not be your obituary.” Never underestimate the value of a hug!
• Simplify.
• Stay focused on today; listen and encourage a collaborative environment.
• Change can happen at a moment’s notice. Having a side hustle is always important. You need to have back up skills and dig deep at times.
• I knew this, but I’m even more focused on how privileged my life is. I’m lucky to still have my job and good health.
• Keep positive and focused on what you can do, not what you can’t. Help others.
• I don’t have to do everything.
• It is important to do the right thing, even if it is outside your comfort zone. Humanity must come first.
• Confirmation of priorities:  health, family and friends, appreciation of nature and being able to spend time in it
• Life is short, and you need to find your purpose. As my husband and I are both working remotely, it was good practice for retirement. We are financially able to retire, so we are doing so in a few weeks. My principles asked me to stay on part time for a few more months. We are proceeding with our plans, and I will work remotely from my new location into the summer.
• Step off the “rat race”. It took months to adjust to unemployment as I tried to maintain a 9-5. By re-examining real life costs, adjusting budget, and accepting part-time as a way of life, trying to do it all lost its importance. <stress. >peace.

• Be flexible – we are all going through this together, but differently.
• All choices are hard – don’t judge!
• Be tolerant. Everyone is going through something … while someone may look okay on the outside, they may not be on the inside.
• Have patience with people. We’re all in the same storm, but everyone’s boat is a little different. Know that everyone is doing the best they can at that moment, and negative behavior may not be specifically directed at you. These are unprecedented and turbulent times, and everyone is doing what they can to cope and get through this.

• Financial planning has allowed me to sleep at night instead of having anxiety attacks! I’m SO glad I lived within my budget and diversified savings.
• Saving and being realistic financially can make a HUGE difference.

Want to catch up on other articles I’ve shared about working through this pandemic?

For all my pandemic-related articles, including strategies and tips readers have shared,  follow drop-down menus (REAL CAREERS/WELL INFORMED/ COVID-19) or simply enter “covid” in the search field on this page.